Hi,

13 years ago, if you would have asked me what I wanted to be when i grew up, i'd say i wanted to be a soldier because i was fascinated with the guns and the camouflage uniforms. that's why i joined ncc in secondary school.

now, i really don't know what i want to do in the future. now i'm doing things that can either land me doing in a science course or in the arts industry, theatre specifically. to be honest, i don't know where to go. i love both and i have a passion in both areas but i really don't know where i should go. most of my time now is being occupied either with theatre or with my science projects. now that school is going to resume, 70% of the time is going to be filled with science stuffs. then after school, it'll be either theatre for me or going back home. in life, i feel that an individual should have purpose and i don't know what's mine.
is my purpose to go school?
to be a good son?
to be a good boyfriend?
to be a good friend?
to do something great in life?

i know you have to take life one step at a time and maybe i've been 'running' too much. in the sense that i've been doing too many things that i keep confusing myself. one time, i was cooking and i asked myself whether i should open up a restaurant. then i ask again, in that case, why am i in a science course in poly?

then again i should ask myself. why am i in drama when i'm doing a science course? why couldn't i have joined conservation IG which could make my 'portfolio' look better when i graduate?
when people ask me what course am i in when i'm in drama, they laugh it off and ask me why i join drama? i kinda find that an irrelevant question. is like asking a 'non-atheletic girl' why she likes to watch soccer?

i've always dream to do something big in life. mother has never been proud of me, that's what i think. at least i want to do something in life that when i die, i can die in peace.

2 weeks in australia and this is what i've been thinking lately. a lot going through my head this past few days as i'm about to leave this country. well, sigh. school starts on monday and let's see how life goes from there. now, i'm taking life day by day.