in time, we all know that we're going to die one day. all we're doing is waiting for it to happen. our death is the only thing can we can't witness, together with our birth. everything else, we've seen with our own eyes.

i didn't believe in my birth or in my upcoming death because i have always believed in what i have seen. i thought it was miracly popped out from the sky. god's unwanted children. but yes, every now and then i have to believe in it because it's inevitable.

we're too stuck down to what we're doing.
too engrossed in so many things.
making sure there's no mistakes.
sucking up to teachers for good grades.
to eat at cheap places.
contantly thinking about money.
what things i can buy when the pay comes in
what i will be eating today
ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC ETC

yes, at this point of the post, i am very frustrated.
at times, i contemplate whether i should punch myself in the face to feel alive. or just do something that builds up the anxiety so that you won't be thinking about those/things around you. you'll just feel yourself.

if you're reading this post, just close your eyes.
eliminate all the distractions around you.
off that music.
and think about yourself.
feel your heartbeat.
and forget about everything you know.

let's fuck redemption